There's a spider in my shower (In a Woody voice)

OK.

OK.

I know that I do not write on here.

Period.

I mean my own background kicked the bucket. That's a bad sign.

But the good news is...there's more to come.

My tv moment of the day:
Turn on my water for the shower. Step in. I am nude. Obviously. There is a HUGE spider in the shower with me. But, remember, I am nude. So I have so much exposure to be bitten. I am trapped. I hate spiders. I jump out, grab toilet paper and try to terminate the spider by squishing it. Fail. The toilet paper turned soggy. It was killing a monster with a marshmellow..or better..a cotton swab. I run out of the shower leaving a trail of tears and hot bath water to grab my chaco..I felt this is the most water-proof shoe I own. I grab it, jump in the shower, and kill it.
Problem #2- HUGE spiders dont go down drains. So I am stuck bathing with 8 legs. Gross. I grab toilet paper. Again. But this time the soggy stuff can at least pick up a dead spider. So, from the now safe insides of my shower, I aim and throw the toilet paper and spider into the toilet. GOAL!
Problem Solved.

Now tell me that will not be the next slapstick comedy on NBC. That's what I thought.

Happy trails! Check your showers.