Fountain of Youth

Two weeks before my 21st birthday I wake up to discover a new cowlick that has formed on the right side of my head. Just mere centimeters above my right ear.

Did I drink from the Fountain of Youth by accident?

At my most recent trip to visit the mister in DC, I was stopped and questioned about my ID. She told me there was no way I was 20.

Yet, last December, I tried to pose as 14 for the role of True Grit. Yes, that's right, I auditioned for True Grit. Now let me review you. I was 20 years old. I was a sophomore at a University. But in my stardom filled mind, I thought I could pull it off.

Because let's face it. Lizzy McGuire. Grey's Anatomy. The OC. Anybody really believe they are the ACTUAL age they are portraying?

Umm...no. Gordo? Remember Lizzie's male sidekick? He was 17 when the show started. A 17 year old starring in a show about the trials and tribulations of a middle schooler.

So, I thought I could do it. Well turns out, the lady knew her stuff. Despite my efforts to look like a puberty stricken 14 year old who had a bizarre growth spurt (but let's face it, at 5'3"that's not really a growth spurt) they shot me down faster than you can say Hollywood. Their first statement to me was nothing of a statement but of a exclamation that had a question mark dangling at the end of it....HOW OLD ARE YOU!?

The moral of this story is that A) do not try to convince casting agents that you are in the 12-14 range and B) age is really just a number.

I think it is so funny how each year we are never content with our age. At 4, you cannot wait to be 5 (a whole hand!!!) At 15, all you can think about is will you be kissed by your sweet 16 (~~~LoLz, OmG~~~)? And at 17, you want to be 18 to vote (because you are suddenly so politically involved) and at 20, you just want to be 21.

Funny, because once you inch your way to 21, you turn into (or maybe just me) this character who lives in a dream requiem or a memory. Remember that cheer competition that we all fell in a stampede like fashion? Remember when I cried at Vacation Bible School for not getting the role as head lamb? Am I really almost a Senior? Remember that time...that once...

When does one stop balancing the tightrope of remember when...and can't wait until?

William Faulkner said," The past is never dead. It's not even past."

We live so much in the past that the past is never really...past.

I wish I could be really scholarly right now and explain that to you better. But that's the beauty. It's open-ended.

Regardless of my cowlicks, of my turned down roles ( that girl was freakin nominated for an Oscar!!!) or for the airline personnel who thinks I'm in fact 12 (if only she was working the casting call that fateful December day)....I am going to love my age. And its quirks. And its perks.

So, hair gel anyone? I think I am going to need some this year...and when I am 50.