Amsterdam I am.

As I write this, I am riding on a train looking out on the beautiful Dutch...grafitti. Colorful, at least.

I am sure the countryside will begin soon.

Well, this whole trip started with what I was dreading most. A 14 hour plane ride. The good news: I am terrible at math and the plane ride was only 8 hours.

The bad news: 8 hours was long enough. They didn’t even play movies until hour 4.

But it is so funny how small of a world it is. John Montgomery sat by two girls from Ole Miss on a plane going to Amsterdam with tons of other people. The ladies in front of us—Mississippi. I was very proud of my Mississippi gentleman. They all helped the senior ladies with their luggage on the carts. Apparently, it was some group that takes senior citizens around. What a trip that will be. They all were wearing fanny packs around their necks?

Speaking of fanny packs, Father Breland tried to get me to wear one. He said he could “arrange me a fanny pack”. This only solidifies my beliefs that my father is in a fanny pack mob. Arranges, Allen? Oh parents and their suggestions.

We arrived in the aiport dreading the customs and the passport line. We were expecting to fill out paperwork and being searched. In my imagination, I saw myself being put in an interrogation room and them yelling at me. WHY OSNABRUCK MISSY???

Uh. They only said have a nice trip . Stamped me. And off I went. Customs, I just walked through.

Not nearly as terrible as any of us thought.

Then came the fun part. Understanding Dutch signs. This is what they looked like.

Rykytlkennekt.

Next, was the part I was really worried about. After researching hotel rooms for 3 days, I was responsible for getting the room and the quality of them. The website said 1 double bed and 2 twin beds. With three boys, this was critical. Otherwise, we were about to get real cozy. Real fast.

The Best Western Amsterdam Airport did not disappoint. Were we cramped ? A little. And the twin beds were pushed together. I tried my best to push them apart.

Cooties are a serious illness.

Next we went back to the airport thanks to our free aiport shuttle (5 points for me) and we did the most frustrating thing of our trip yet.

We got lost in the airport train station. Like I said with signs that say this: ekljouetznkn. It is a little hard to know where you are going.

After going to three different platforms, we got on the right train. However, no one checked our tickets and there was nothing when we got off. We basically could have just jumped on one without going through the hassle of paying for tickets and then going on a train. But oh well. We can die knowing we did the right thing.

From the train station, we arrived in the heart of Amsterdam at Centraal Station. I nominated that we do a canal bus tour. This is a taxi/gondola that rides through the canals and has tourist destinations. Since we did not arrive in the ‘dam until 2:00, I thought it would be smart to buy a 24 hour pass. So that we could ride at night.

That was my thought process. Turns out the boat has nighttime excursions and you cannot ride it at night. So, we paid for a trip for Saturday. The boys were not happy and I got demoted to the role of “voice or reason.”

Regardless, we bought that one, the most expensive one of course, and we hopped on and enjoyed the most beautiful way to see Amsterdam.

I am now a photography freak. However, I was rivaled by an aggressive Asian threesome who literally would shove me out of the way to get their shots. Then, they would stand in the way of my shots.

At first, I just smiled and got out of the way. And then, as the ride continued, I got frustrated. So I started to not move out of the way. I am now in 2083508 of their shots. I know I will either be on their mantle or in their holiday greeting cards. I consider it a victory. And they just kept holding up peace signs.

From the bus/gondola, we moved on the Van Gogh museum. We were really starting to feel the jet lag. In hindsight, a museum is not really a rousing time to get your energy going. At the museum, we looked like we had just run a marathon or gone to a funeral. We were not pleasant.

Also, I am going to help spearhead a letter for Amsterdam that will go something like this.

Dear New York,

We would like to have Starry Night by Van Gogh back. You see, tourists come and pay a lot of money expecting to see Starry Night. It angers Americans to tell them, they could have stayed in their homeland to see their favorite Van Gogh painting. First class is acceptable to send it back. We knew you would understand.

Sincerely,

Amsterdam.

From above, you can see we were all dumbfounded to know that Starry Night was not there. Emphasis on dumb. Probably should have done our research.

We had our first “bier” on this side of the Atlantic. I heard it was cheaper than water but didn’t believe it until I saw it.

It’s true.

A water is 3 euros. My bier? 2.40 euros. And when they serve you, they served you water in a cup no bigger than a cup from the dentist’s office. Life is constantly an adjustment but I love it!

After that, we accidentally happened upon the red light district. That was an experience. I tried not to react so as not to me look super-American and because clasping hands over eyes and squinting through them may seem a tad elementary.

In Amsterdam, it does not get dark until 11:00 at night which we were not expecting. Although we arrived in the city at 2:00, it felt like a whole day due to the fact that we ate up the sunshine and explored for miles. My legs have not been this sore since cheer camp back in high school.

The gentleman got angry with me because I made them miss our bus because I was too busy taking pictures. The magic was all around me and I could not stop snapping pics. I am not the favorite tripmate. But I am not apologetic. I tried to comfort them with the fact that hey, we are only here once.

It somehow didn’t work. Cursewords and hand ruffling through hair ensued.

We ended the night grabbing dinner at a quaint little pub and trying a new bier that I have never heard before. I cannot even spell it but the waitress said it was Heineken’s mortal enemy.

We came home to our suite and passed out. This morning we did the most European thing possible for breakfast. We ate a croissant and got a coffee at this lovely little café a la golden arches.

We ate at McDonalds.

But it was lovely. It is 400x better than the American McDonalds.

After that we went back to the black hole aka the train station and now here we are. On a cozy little car on the way to Osnabruck.

Since writing this, we experienced excitement. The German police came on and kicked these two men in our car off because they did not have their passports. When asked what country they were from, they replied Afghanistan. Actually, we don’t speak German, so we don’t know the question. Just understood Afghanistan.

Just a day in the life.